At the Roots

Over the last few months, I’ve been occupied with trying to find the cause of my being unwell. I’ve been fighting gastric pain, abdominal pain, as well as accidental pain – caused by a fall and a drill (two separate occasions, thankfully!). Recovery has been slow and frustrating, for a multitude of reasons. Science has shown that ‘pain’ has a broad spectrum; to define it specifically is different for everybody – literally, every body. Words range from ‘mild’ and ‘discomfiting’ to ‘intense’ and ‘fiery’. Depending on the source of the pain – whether it’s the nervous system, a bruise, ongoing chronic illness – we all use these in the doctor’s office to describe what’s hurting us. Science has also shown, however, that emotional pain, or stress, is tied to the physical body. Stress is now being understood to have both positive and negative impacts upon our bodies. It can help makes us hyperalert in dramatic, adrenaline-necessary scenarios; in a dramatic, adrenaline-filled world, that has been time and again necessary. However, in world that’s also mundane, shift-work, nine-to-five and classes, taking care of family, stress can adversely raise our risk for heart disease, heart attacks and more. In my life, I tend to fall among the latter. I am a chronic worry-wart, a woman whose husband has to routinely reassure her that family members are probably fine, and not in the ditch somewhere. That notwithstanding, I also fight mental illness, which raises the stakes for the emotional pain attached to the stress. Turns out my stress from the holidays manifested into what one doc said was GERD. I’m due to get a second opinion next week. I can’t tell if the diagnosis is accurate; with what I’ve read on the subject – not understanding what GERD is, of course I read about it – usually visual testing accompanies the diagnosis, and none was done. I’ve since been having trouble with food. (Ordinarily I would consider losing weight a benny. But not since I am feeling so unwell. Would that this weren’t so confusing!)