Good News...?
I stared at the cars passing by, feeling both relieved, and confused. We just left the rheumatologists’ office, housed at the end of a maze of hallway, to find our car both cool and empty of the traditional sweetnotsweet smell of medicine. After having blood drawn for tests, the doctor told me she was sure I was well enough to schedule my next appointment with her a year away. The tests, which revealed themselves to be within normal range, were ones I requested. My hair has been thinning, and after consultation with my mother and an experience with low calcium levels, I wasn’t sure if my thyroid was functioning appropriately. (I now have to pay down a bill thanks to that request…). My husband, bless him, waited patiently as I handed over the necessary urine and blood. He also listened patiently as I worried out loud as to why a year? Was I taking up too much of her time because I didn’t have lupus or rheumatoid arthritis? Each appointment, I noticed, had been led by those two questions. Though each appointment my joints have been examined, and though the doctor has (more or less) listened to my concerns (she took my request for further testing; but she gets money for it…), I have not seen many young patients in her office. Nor did I see any indication she would pursue questioning beyond lupus or RA – from my own research, rheumatology encompasses much, and interacts with the body on a multitude of levels. Having the history I do with my ANA titer levels, and my white blood cell count (the neurologist in 2013 who was so excited, for example, was baffled when it swooped up, and then down), I had looked forward to being monitored. Three years on, I am left with similar confusion – especially since, in the deepest throes of summer, my joints are inflamed and aching as ever. I trust that she earned her degree rightfully so, and she knows her stuff – but when do I push? How do I push for more? Why do I feel like I wasted her time (and my money)? Why does my body persist in the same symptoms, especially since I reduced my tomato intake (which I know inflames my joints) and try to eat regular anti-inflammatories (turmeric is a good example)?
I am relieved she feels I am well, and that my blood tested within normal ranges – but if it did, and my body is still producing symptoms, what then? Is that really good news – or is there something I am missing?
