Trying Something Different
Today I filled out and submitted an application to a restaurant, and spoke to the manager – all in the same hour. If you’re familiar at all with the job hunt, you know that such a rarity is, well, a rarity. Finding employment in this market is increasingly difficult, despite the increase in types of jobs available. Aside from wage stagnation, employment is also complicated by healthcare volatility, overtime imbalances, and the general inability of employers to pay a living wage. For Spoonies, the struggle – already at a high level of stress, anxiety, and worry - is exacerbated by one other factor: our physical body. Those of us who yet remain able – that is, we have function of most or all of our body and mind – have to find ways through the process of hiring and then working. I was fortunate in my first job after graduating college to have an employer who helped meet my needs – and not excessively so, either. Little things, by allowing me to work in the office with the lights off if the day outside was bright enough to let sunlight in, or allowing me to sit alone for fifteen minutes to hold off a migraine. Unfortunately, said supervisor retired – and now I am looking for work in a cutthroat area, far from any chance to have a similar position. In the real world, employers look for potential employees who can work excessive hours and not be demanding. Neither of which I can accommodate. It would be disingenuous of me to hide my condition from an employer, then start working and expect them to meet my needs. Not only is that deceptive, it would also be highly frustrating for both parties – one, for the manager or supervisor to constantly attend to rescheduling me, and me to constantly call out or not fulfill my end of my legal contract, or force my body beyond its capabilities and crash entirely. I choose honesty – and it pays, steeply. This time, the manager was kind, and will be going to the effort of speaking with his scheduler anyhow, though he and I both know it likely is not going to make a difference. It is an effort I appreciate, and I told him so (I also told him I wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was no).
I’ve already been criticized for being ‘too honest’:
*“you’re preventing yourself from getting a job” *“go ahead and lie, people do it all the time” *“just get the job first, then work it out” *“how do you expect to get a job if you’re telling me you aren’t that able to work?” Here’s the rub: I’m not incapable. Neither am I unintelligent. I’ve weighed and measured the pros and cons of applying to work honestly. Where it gets sticky is when I know I must accommodate my own needs first. My family is a family of hard workers and it is incomprehensible, at this point, for many of them to understand that I cannot push through one day, to the next, to the next. To do so costs me even more than if I held myself accountable to my energy needs in the first place. As a result, I am trying something different, something for a people-pleaser like me is unthinkable: being upfront. I am not comfortable with being dishonest about my own needs, knowing the price I pay down the line might well be high. My only other path forward, then, is to explain what I am looking for, simply and without too much detail.
If any benefit exists, it might be that I could find another employer willing to take a chance and meet my needs where they can.
